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Send My Conscience Home in a Taxi

Externalised Memory

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Dear Marvin, must you raise hell in every house we leave you in?
Badtz Maru 2
Dear Marvin,

Marvin on the driveway
This picture shows you in a rare moment of calm....

You are a huge cat with an odd personality, and a very strange fixation with me your owner.

When were out of town for a few days two weeks ago, we made a deal with my cousin to look after you. The idea was you'd stay there for a week and help them with their mouse plague. Since you delight so much in killing rodents.

But... Instead of devoting your time to hunting rodents, you:

  • Bit one of my cousin's daughters

  • Bit and scratched my cousin's other daughter

  • Cornered my cousin in her own kitchen and attacked her so she had to remind you who was boss with a wooden spoon!

  • Terrified their little terrier dog so much she shat on the floor three times

  • Utterly failed to kill any mice!

I feel I should take some responsibility for that last one, given I put a new collar on you with two bells on it. And indeed we abandoned you in a strange house. But Marvin, you've now managed to alienate everyone who has ever been kind enough to mind you for us. We've officially run out of places for you to stay! We have to talk about these anger management issues of yours...


Your scarred owner.

Cross-posted to note_to_cat
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