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Send My Conscience Home in a Taxi

Externalised Memory

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Toying with the Stupid Chat Bot
What Would Henry Rollins Do?
maxcelcat
(Warning! This post contains some rude words, and is not appropriate for minors. I know you're all going to ignore this aren't you?)

Some background first. For some reason I still have a Yahoo! Messenger account, even though I'm not sure I actually know anyone who still uses it. It's been well and truly replaced by Facebook chat, Google Chat and indeed Skype. But my chat client, Pidgin can connect to multiple accounts, and I've included Yahoo! into the list it automatically logs into.

One reason Yahoo! Messenger sucks is because it has appalling security. So every now and then, random people and random Chat-Bot's will start conversations with you in an attempt to entice you to their p0rn website or whatever.

This happened to me today, and rather than just blocking it outright, I decided to engage it in conversation. This is the "conversation" that ensued.

Conversation with blondieecp5948


(10:35:43 AM) blondieecp5948: Make me cum now ...

(10:35:55 AM) maxcelcat: Can't I'm busy!

(10:35:55 AM) Blondie Huthsing has signed on.

(10:36:57 AM) Blondie Huthsing: Hey qt.. how are you today?.. Wanna chat for a little? Im bored and wanted to meet some new people...

(10:37:24 AM) maxcelcat: No, don't want to chat at all

(10:38:25 AM) Blondie Huthsing: nice im 18 yrs old im going to school in S.Florida... Can i ask u a question?

(10:38:34 AM) maxcelcat: No no you cant'

(10:38:43 AM) maxcelcat: Persistent for a Bot aren't you?

(10:39:45 AM) Blondie Huthsing: Do you like big booty girls that know how to shake there ass? or are you a tit kinda guy..

(10:40:32 AM) maxcelcat: Some Turing machine you turned out to be - you're not even parsing my responses!

(10:41:34 AM) Blondie Huthsing: :) i have alot of both and i luv to shake my ass & give lap dances.. wanna see? i have some free time now..

(10:42:07 AM) maxcelcat: I don't, I'm actually busy at work. Sorry, send your Premium Feed to someone else

(10:43:08 AM) Blondie Huthsing: kk.. let me set up my cam and you can watch me shake my ass!! LOL.. that's if you can handle it ;)

(10:43:32 AM) maxcelcat: Ah, thanks but no thanks.

(10:43:40 AM) maxcelcat: My partner at home has a fly booty

(10:43:50 AM) maxcelcat: and I actually get to see it in person!

(10:44:52 AM) Blondie Huthsing: Ok! Click http://swturl.com/3nu64 and we'll have a PRIVATE 1on1 chatroom.. Just accept my invite on the side its the green button says "accept invite" then register and it'll take you straight to my webcam, I'll be there in a minute..

(10:45:34 AM) maxcelcat: Sure. And you'll shred my credit card when exactly?

(10:46:35 AM) Blondie Huthsing: I use this site so I cant be recorded and only who I want to see me, gets to see.

(10:49:22 AM) maxcelcat: Persistent aren't you? I think I might get bored with this before you do

(10:49:27 AM) maxcelcat: Then again, you're a robot...

(10:50:29 AM) Blondie Huthsing: There is no charge but its gonna ask you for your credit card info just to verify your age.. cant show my ass to minors qt :)

(10:51:53 AM) maxcelcat: What? I can't share it with some random Tweens? I want my money back!

(10:52:02 AM) maxcelcat: Wait you don't want money do you?

(10:52:23 AM) maxcelcat: To quote William Burroughs "Never trust a hooker who says she doesn't want money".

(10:57:00 AM) maxcelcat: I'm off to make a cup of tea - you want one?

(10:59:15 AM) Blondie Huthsing has signed off.


Actually, reading it again, it might have been a human... Just a very very stupid one :-)

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I too still have a Yahoo chat account (there _are_ some actual people left there, even) and I get a lot of "buddy" requests, which I mostly reject. But once, like you, I was bored and decided to taunt the bear.

It was the same sort of thing - definitely not anaylsing my replies but definitely a bot as I got exactly the same messages after a reasonably long cycle.

What I have wanted to do ever since is to put a few of these in a chatroom together and see if they evolve into a serious AI... ;) (So far I've only gone so far as to find an online version of that ol' Eliza bot and proxy the conversation to her.) Amusing times.

Re: Definitely a bot

Re-reading it, it looks like it's just responding to the fact that I'm responding, not to my actual replies...

I suspect if you wired to chatbots together the entire internets would explode ;-)

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