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Send My Conscience Home in a Taxi

Externalised Memory

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My Final Error Report
Space Man
So, almost the last thing I did at my now former job was to lodge a ticket in the company bug tracking system. This is normally used to track issues with software systems. But mine went like this:

Paul is Highly Defective and Should be Replaced

The resource known as Paul has developed a large range of eccentric behaviour. He has taken to hoarding, spinning frenetically on his chair, yelling expletives randomly and drawing peculiar pictures on the white boards.

In order to prevent the contagion from spreading, he should be hermetically sealed in a large
zip-lock bag and delivered to the nearest loony bin, along with a steady supply of Chai (soy, no sugar).

Local traders he has supported through the purchase of soup and drinks should be supported through this crisis with donations of gold coins in return for coffee.

His desk should then be sterilised by burning it in the car-park. The entire staff should dress in Druidical robes and form a circle around the burning desk, chanting "Leeeeeeeego, Leeeeeeego".

Severity: 4

Category: FAULT

Has Work-around?: Yes

By the time I was done saying goodbye to everyone, it had made it's way around significant parts of the office. I'll be curious to see how many people end up reading it :-)