Send My Conscience Home in a Taxi

Externalised Memory

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Can I just tell you about my weird day?

For starters, I didn't sleep very well, was drinking Tea far too late in the evening (I'm a wild and crazy guy :-)

I had a dream about a house I used to live in, which had an enormous bassoon installed in it. It was wider than an average bassoon, and run through one room, out through the wall into the back garden, across the garden and then back into the house... It wasn't clear how it was supposed to be played!

Anyway, having dragged my arse out of bed earlier than usual, I caught three trains and a tram (merri -> parliament, parliament -> flinders street, flinders street -> malvern, malvern -> two stops on a tram) to a medical practice in an obscure part of Wattletree Road (almost wrote that WattleTree... Fuck I'm a nerd.)

This has to have been the smallest office I'd ever seen. Consisted of a reception area with three chairs and a desk (and a receptionist), one small back office with three people squeezed into it. And one room with a very specialised electric chair. I mean, X-Ray machine - a chair with a rotating X-Ray device around the head area. I'll keep you in suspense as to why I needed my head X-Rayed. (Yes, there is a brain in there, I had an MRI a few months back and they would have mentioned something if it had been missing :-P)

I had to take my earrings out before the X-Ray. This is not an easy job - they're body piercing jewelery, a simple ring that one just bends to remove, and two hoops with a connecting ball. The ball just sort of clicks in, and is held by the loop. I could not for the life of me get the second one back together after the x-ray! So I just said stuff this, and went out to confront the bill...

$290 later...

Caught a train back into the city. Two middle aged men, the kind who live in Malvern, were having a long chat about real estate. I tuned out, until I heard them discussing a co-worker who'd had a sex change. They were in a different department, and didn't know who this new woman was at some company do... And might have tried to chat her up......!

Dragged myself to a Medicare office at lunchtime, and they refunded me most of the x-ray bill, thankfully. I'd like to be able to eat again before my next paycheck!

Then I thought it time to get some more earrings. Popped into smoke dreams on Swanston street, and picked out two short rods and a... I have no idea what it's called. One of those incomplete loops with little balls on each end.

A nice man with several facial piercings and horn implants used a pair of autoclaved pliers to take out my old earring and put in the new ones. Hope I don't have to take them out in a hurry! We got into chatting about... clitoral hood piercings... As you do. I was sort of tempted to get something else pierced, but maybe another day. And no, I'm not thinking of getting a piercing below the waist :-P

Other freaky things that have happened today:

Got myself a $5 horsey in some horse race that's on next week. I have no idea which horse it is, and don't really care. So long as it has a silly name and carries a freakishly small man around.

Looked on facebook. One of my friends is taking her vampire and attacking everybody. Another of my friends is getting a presentation from... the Preston Rotary Club... To quote tortoises: o_O

Speaking of Facebook, I am now friends with three other people with the same name as me.

What was the last weird thing? Oh yeah, used the Triple J website to try and contact an old friend. She's a presenter on the thing. The only email address I have for her is somewhat retired... Plan to be in Sydney in December for a bit, so I thought I'd try and catch up with her.

Now... I'm off home then onto the gym...

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I caught three trains and a tram (merri -> parliament, parliament -> flinders street, flinders street -> malvern, malvern -> two stops on a tram) to a medical practice in an obscure part of Wattletree Road (almost wrote that WattleTree... Fuck I'm a nerd.)

I'll leave you to work out where I live :)

I'm assuming there's a clue in here somewhere... :-P

I know you're in the eastern suburbs somewhere, but given that I only learned your real name three weeks ago (so it would seem) and have yet to meet you in person.... Speculating about where you live is fairly low on the "list of things I don't now about tortoises." :-P

I'm guessing Malvern somewhere. Nice suburb, I could smell the money when I was there.....

Just out of interest: Which direction did you take the tram in?

Er... On the way there I walked from Malvern station to WattleTree road. Then I hopped on a conveniently timed tram and went about two stops east to (almost) Tooronga Road...

Why do you ask? I'm sure if I'd seen a bushy haired girl wandering around I would have guessed it was you... No, actually, I wouldn't - completely the wrong context!!!!

I was thinking of taking the tram back into the city, but they are always sooooooo slooooooow... Hopped on a train which turned out to be a good choice, it was express and went to Southern Cross...

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