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Send My Conscience Home in a Taxi

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Box Wars!!!!
Drawing of a trike
Regular readers of this journal will remember I was off to something called Box Wars the other night. It is high time I reported back!

The evening started slow, when I left Northcote late because I was doing a metric fuckload of laundry. $35 in one dollar coins later, and I had a pile of clean Everything, but had to get south! Missed a train, hopped on a tram, missed another tram, took a cab. Hmmm... Brokeness.

I needn't have hurried, the thing was barely warming up. An alright band played, and my friend Jeremy showed up, followed closely by Shaun and a couple of his mates. (Sean, me and one of his friends (Phil?) are all a bit follicly challenged. Jeremy wanted to line the three of us up for a photo. I suggested that was a bad idea, and not to tease the Balding, especially when outnumbered.)

Whilst the second band were setting up, I was convinced I recognized their drummer, as the former drummer of my former housemate's band SPG. Although I was a bit uncertain, because I was going partly on the theory that there can't be too many asian girl drummers in Melbourne. Please correct me if I'm wrong. I wracked my unreliable memory for a name, and came up with Nancy. It was her, the lead singer mentioned her by name later. She's a good drummer, pity the band she's in are a bit shit.

Anyway, the evening was showing signs of degenerating into a gig. Where were the boxes, we thought? We even started up a chant: "Cardboard, Cardboard". We even considered popping over to the neighbouring IGA, getting some masking tape and some left over boxes. Then we tried to think of pickup lines to use on the three women wandering around dressed in Cardboard. The best we could do were:

"So, I see you're wearing corrugated tonight."
"Can I take you home and unwrap you?"
"What's the shipping on this package?"

Damn, talk about lame.

Three songs into the second band's set, they finally brought out the boxes. I should mention something about the venue - the St. Kilda bowling club. There was a low stage, with a sort of dance floor in front of it, which was mostly occupied by we punters. The Box Warriors mostly shuffled out into the area in front of the stage. I should also explain something of the principles of Box Wars as I understand them. Basically, you make some kind of costume out of Cardboard boxes, then fight other people dressed the same way. Hitting only other cardboarded areas on your opponent. The last box standing is the winner!!!

And what a motley crew they were. There were at least three decent Conquistadors, they'd put some real effort in with the gaffer tape. And a Tardis, an arcade game, Sponge Bob, an R2-D2, several other things I couldn't identify.

And then they fought! While the band played, they more or less moshed in front of the stage, bouncing around like, er, well, a mosh pit but with cardboard. There was bits of boxes flying everywhere! Many of the outfits didn't last long at all - parts of the tardis and the arcade game flew all around the room. The conquistadors lost their helmets and their armour. The tardis then went on a bit of a crowd-surfing adventure of it's own, and several cardboarded people in various stages of disrepair stage dived.

Pretty soon, after not more than three songs, the floor was covered in a layer of cardboard, and only Spongebob and R2-D2 were still standing. The final battle was between a conquistador, a corrugated girl, and Spongebob. Eventually Sponge was ripped to shreds. The show was over.

One of the silliest spectacles I've ever seen. Will have to keep an eye on their website for more of the same. One of Sean's mates had a decent camera, I'll make sure he sends me some pictures.

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can you believe i'm sitting next to someone who just got very excited when she saw the words "Box Wars" - her friend is the guy who started it

small world

It's a small world. Discovered that one of my friends from uni knows some of my friends from high school!!!!

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