Send My Conscience Home in a Taxi

Externalised Memory

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Dear Sydney
Catnip Cat macro
Dear Sydney,

Please regularise your road system. It is a complete mess. I've never seen so many roads so tangled up and so poorly laid out. I've looked at a map, it looked like an upended bowl of spaghetti! Roads everywhere, connecting at all sorts of random angles. Would it be too hard to organise them all into some kind of grid?

And what is up with all these tiny one-way streets, or lanes that look like a nice place for a quiet cafe but are in fact main thoroughfares??? I've seen buses on roads I wouldn't drive a Mini down.

Not to mention all these hills! The bus I was on the other day went down a hill I couldn't see the bottom of! No bus has brakes that good!!!

And how can any city possibly need so many bays and inlets??? Everywhere I go, I keep almost falling in the ocean!

So, what I'd like to see is the following:
1. Bulldoze the whole lot. Start with that big thingy that looks like my nose out there on the point.
2. Flatten all the hills, and push the debris into the extraneous bits of ocean so the whole place is one continuous land area
3. Level the whole place till it's no more than three metres above sea level
4. Get out a ruler and lay out a flippin' road grid pattern!

No more of these roads which split into two or three! No more weird one-way streets! Or houses build on enormous piles of rock! No more trams which disappear into tunnels or huge cuts into piles of rock! No more random ocean placement! Just a lovely, regular north-south grid that I won't get lost on.

Thank you.
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I'm sure you know this, and were just ranting, but Sydney's streets are the (crappy) way they are because Sydney wasn't planned. It just grew along the Tank Stream and then out... It's not too bad when you know your way around (though it's hardly 'good'), but it must suck as a tourist. Melbourne is such a great tourist city - boxy... so sensible.

I should probably have advised this earlier, but I highly recommend the MOS or Museum of Sydney. It's one block closer to the Quay than the corner of Bent and Phillip Sts. (Shitty directions, I know, sorry.) It's directly opposite the Police Museum.
The MOS is (was) only $2 if you want to go upstairs to look at the galleries - lots of drawers to open and look at, with relics and images from Sydney's colonial and trade history right through until present day. Their temporary exhibits are often interesting, too. But my favourite part of the MOS is in the foyer. It's built on teh site of the first Government House, and there's an excavation under the glass floor.
Very few people know about the MOS. I lived with a guy who worked just up from it for years, and had no idea it was there until I took him. I think it's nice to go to 'tourist' places that most tourists miss :) There's also an interesting harbour view - an angle you don't often see.

If you like looking at things under the floor (as I seemingly do), you should also go into Customs House. They have a model of Sydney in their foyer.

Thanks for the advice. I've been largely avoiding Touristy type stuff, although I did the Monorail and the Sydney Tower today... Might go check this out...

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